It’s funny how we willingly carry around the burden of other people’s nasty toxic baggage. They dump, pile and impose their stuff on us. Against our wishes we carry these people and their “stuff” places we don’t want to go.
We’ve been “hauling garbage” for so long we forget what we like, what we want, and who we are.
I remember having a heart to heart with a soul sister (that’s one who understands like no other) and realizing that we had given up our power and our autonomy for so long that we’d forgotten who we were. We felt obligated to allow other peoples desires, preferences and expectations to rule us. It just seemed right, like that’s what you do when you are a woman.
Somewhere on our journey we adopted the mindset that this is humility, this is submission, this is love, this service, and this is our faith.
Ugh no! It’s manipulation, disrespect and wrong! Pure and simple.
And it won’t change as long as you don’t change. Repeat. It won’t change unless you change.
You can’t change people. You can’t make them respect you or your time or your space.
BUT you do have the power to change YOU! And that’s enough to change your world!
I’m willing to carry my own stuff,
but I refuse to carry someone else’s baggage!
It’s not easy to say no after years of saying yes. We start by just taking a moment before we answer and let people into our decision making space. Pause and think, “what do I really want?”
- Look around and really see what is in your life that you welcomed or what did someone else bring without an invitation.
- Decide – What you really want your life to look like?
- Imagine – What would peace and freedom would look like?
- Plan – How could you achieve it?
- Action- Ditch the extra baggage. Say no.
Would it mean another adult would take responsibility for their own life, their own feelings, their own attitudes and behaviors. Then give it back.
Whatever you are carrying that belongs to someone else – give it back. If they won’t take it willingly (and they probably wont since you’ve been carrying it this long) then:
Haul that mess right out of your “yard” and up to their front porch and drop it.
You leave their moods, their mess, their responsibility, their drama or whatever it is that they brought to you without your permission. Dump it!
Shake off the dust from your feet and hands – and walk away!!!!
I’m serious. Leave it. They’ll deal with it.
Get creative with your imagery, it’s fun.