Fear is the unpleasant EMOTION caused by the BELIEF that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Fear is only an emotion caused by a belief. It’s not a tangible thing. You can’t touch it and it cant touch you. But it’s paralyzing. That belief that something is wrong or likely to cause pain creates a chemical response called “fight or flight.” I call it nerves! Stomach, head, muscles, heart rate – everything responds to fear.
But “THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.”
I tell myself this over and over. . . and yet when something happens the fear response rolls into motion like water downhill. Stomach lurches, head aches, heart rate increases, insides shake, words fail.
I’ve been a slave to fear. Afraid of countless intangible threats that can’t and won’t touch me or do me harm. If fears were tangible threats, like a monster or bear, then the response would help. But my brain knows there’s nothing to be afraid of so the fight or flight energy implodes and makes me sick.
Fear, I’ve learned is useless.
Even though I know this, being free of fear is a work in progress that takes deliberate practice. It gets easier with practice. Here’s my interpretation of “Face your Fear Best Practices:”
- FACE IT– walk right up to it, with your feet firmly planted and look at it!
- FAKE IT – inside there’s a meltdown happening but imagine your inner goddess, a bad@#$ woman we’ll call “DIGNITY,” has taken over. In other words, ignore that sniveling, whining, scaredy-cat inside and raise your head, shoulders and eyes and be your “DIGNITY” – she backs down to no one!!!
- FEEL IT – Feel the fear. Pause and Breath into it. Don’t resist it.
- “I’m scared, probably of nothing, but I’m still scared.” – admit it!
- “What am I afraid of ?” – think about the real reason you are scared and notice you are standing unharmed.
- “Why am I scared ?” – what did you think would happen – did it?
- FLEE IT – Now walk away. Don’t look back. Separate yourself from the source of the fear. See you are unharmed!
YOU CAN BE FREE. I know sickening fear! I promise you I have done these four F’s and if they work for me they can work for anyone. When I ask myself what do I think will happen to hurt me, my imagination conjures images of a confrontation followed by extreme loneliness, abandonment or poverty that is beyond the power of the threat to even produce. But if it were possible for the thing I fear could cause loneliness, abandonment or poverty. I got people who love me, support, purpose, promises, potential, and I’m working toward financial independence so who can touch me?