Association leads to Assimilation: How to change who you Hang with and Change where you are Going.

flock-of-birds-615170_1280We are not as UNIQUELY INDIVIDUAL as we think we think.  Long before I heard of Jim Rohn’s quote “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” my father Jim Smith told me, “Association leads to assimilation!” In other words, you will become the people you are around to most.  In fact you already are the people you hang around.

Think about it:  you dress about the same, you probably live in similar homes, make about the same amount of money, and share common hobbies and interest.  If you like them and where they are going, then great!  If you want something different you have to change or at least broaden your circle of association.

Healthy people tend to hang out with healthy people,  wealthy people tend to hang out with wealthy people, smart intellectuals hang out with smart intellectuals and conversely broke people hang with broke people, party people hang with party people, and people going nowhere hang with people who are also going nowhere.



Association: an organized group of people who have the SAME interest, a major unit in ecological community organization characterized by essential UNIFORMITYAssimilation: To take in the mind and thoroughly comprehend, to MAKE SIMILAR to alter by assimilation, to ABSORB the culture or mores of a population or group.



  1. Write down your vision and your goals:  Dream! What do you want your life to look like, what do you want to change.  Create a vision board, or at least a list.
  2. Find a group of like minded people or an organization devoted to what you want to become: Google search a meet up, mastermind, club or class. Join them.  Meeting regularly with people pursuing the same goals will cause you to assimilate, by association you will learn the language, the best practices, and where and how to get started.  You will be encouraged and supported. . . you don’t have to go it alone.
  3. Find a professional to talk to:  If you want to stop renting and buy a house then find a homeowner class, or mortgage professional that can get you started.  If you want to go back to school, or change jobs, go to the community college and talk to a career counselor.
  4. Get a mentor:  develop a long-term relationship with a person who is successfully doing what you want to do.  Ask them if they ware willing to mentor you, but don’t be a drain by asking them to tell you everything step by step or by making them do the work for you.  Mentorship is only guidance to help you with the benefit of their experience.  You have to do the work.
  5. Change or broaden your circle of association:  spend less time with one group and more time with the others.  Assuming your current associations aren’t toxic they will remain your friends, maybe you’ll begin to have a positive impact on them.  Letting in new influences will help you move forward and live an inspired life of purpose, passion and potential!

A final thought on association.  I really used to hate when my dad would say this. I thought I was unique.  I thought I could go places and do things with people and still be me.  For the most part I was me and we were still alike, going the same way.   Most of the time that’s ok, because my friends are good people.   It was the people I wasn’t around that begin to interest me as I got older.  I noticed there are people with financial freedom, retiring early, who love their lives and live their passions; and women who live with courage, reclaimed their power and who dared to be different.  That’s who I want to associate with! What about you?  

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